This is the Character Quality that I'm currently working on in my life. I've seen the damage that my pride is causing in my life and marriage and am not willing to leave this course uncorrected. I was reading in my devotions the other night and came across a verse that I've read several times before but never understood, but this time God wouldn't let me just fly by it. The verse is Proverbs 12:9 "He that is despised and hath a servant is better than he that honoreth himself, and lacketh bread." I've noticed that when I come under conviction about something I will impose my will about the matter onto my family, especially my wife. I don't often leave room for debate or input, I just go all out. I've also noticed that this usually comes with at best a half hearted response from my family and at worst all out resistance. I don't blame them. They are not donkeys that need to be moved about by bit and bridle, they are spiritual beings that need to be moved by the spirit. If the Holy spirit convicts me of something from Gods word it is my job to help my family catch the vision of it, not to force them to believe something they don't see, because then that won't last. The way I interpret that verse is that a man who has a perverse heart and whose life shows it is better than a man who acts as though he is holy and righteous when his life doesn't show it. That is me when I force my "will" on my family to honour myself, to have a show at righteousness. When I catch a vision for something for God, I will not need to force anyone, they will catch on with enthusiasm, they'll want to see what daddy sees. Sometimes I'll be convicted of a sin in my life and will react with a great change and force that change on my family, but if they don't see the evidence first in my life too them I'm just a man that honoreth himself and lacks bread...
